Anyone know where I can get a time machine?

I am willing to build it if you have the scematics, or pay up to $2.5 million for one.

Answer:
The problem with your offer is that to someone who has a working time machine, $2.5 million is peanuts, they could simply go into the future to find (for example) a winning lotto number, then come back and buy the ticket. If they make public the existence of the machine, there will be no end to their problems, so I suspect you will get few takers.
Yeah at the dollar store
Write a note "to the future" including your current whereabouts and mail it, with a check enclosed. One should appear next to you. Be sure to adjust for inflation! ;)
Send me the check, and I'll deliver it personally to you. I sware. Honest I will. Just send it to the following address . . .
3.5 million and its a deal.
In Fantasy Land, down the street from Willy Wonka's Amazing Incredible Chocolate Factory and that brew-pub run by big titty hookers.
I wish I had a time machine, but unfortunately I don't. Darn time, keeps messing up my days, never enough time! Well I guess I gotta continue living my life.
There's a little place in Greenich Village called "Dan's Discount House Of Time Machines"

I'd stay away from the floor models, I'd bought one and took it home once, set the destination date for 2020 to see what life would be like then.

The machine malfunctioned, sending me backwards into time, MILLIONS of years.

I can't tell you how hard it is to out-run a saber tooth tiger. PLUS I missed my dentsist appointment!

Always get them in the box!! No matter WHAT the salesman says.

Turns out someone had stuck their gum in the portal exchange valve. Of course if i would have known at the time, I would ave simply removed it, with the new HELIO 7 & 1/4 Claw grip attachment, which I had on me at the time, but that's just crying over spilled milk.

Just stay away for the floor models
Just remember "Dan's Discount House Of Time Machines"

Tell'em Bob sent you or as they know me there "That crazy black man with the claw grips that keeps asking us about time machines, will he ever sober up?"


Hope it helps!
Stephen Hawkings claims that as far as science knows it is impossible to go back in time so don't give a dime to anyone who claims otherwise (at least not today). However, due to relativity by going fast you cause time to relatively go by faster for everybody else. So, if you built a spaceship (although it would cost much more than $2.5 million) and had access to technology that could propel you very close to the speed of light, turn around you could come back to earth in hundreds or thousands of years in the future. And, man if you make it I hope, you aren't the only one left. On second thought, you might want to bring a couple girls to that party.

Sorry I couldn't help, but if you decide that you want to do something crazy that would change the world for the better with $2.5 million, I've got just the thing for you.
Just go to the U.K. and find Dr Who, He will tell you all about it.It looks like a police call box.Careful
e-bay
The only time machines in existance are those that tell you the current time-that is if you have it set right and it is working properly. They can be bought at most any store for a lot less than $2.5 million, but some designer brands can be pretty expensive.

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