Why do abusers control and abuse?


Peace and Love

Hi Namaste,
I don`t really know except they want the power to take control of another because they are insecure of themselves and they believe that there mate might be cheating and it goes to there head and stays there without really thinning they start to abuse the person there with and after they really feel bad,it also could be a temper issue and that comes from jealousy.if you are jealous then you don't trust and if you don't trust then you are going to control another and try to keep them but really you are turning them away from you and not bringing them closer.. that's what i think and that is my own opinion.Others have there opinions.
good luck and god bless
It is usually a vicious circle. They were perpetrated upon by their parents, most likely.
learned behavior from caregivers
Because SOMEONE allows them to. If they were around me, the cycle would end.
they could ve been abused before..

they are trying to feel strong and making others look weak make them strong they think..

they think its a power making them look weak..

they control cause they are afraid of being looked weak as they really are..

if you keep the people close enough to you,if you control them, if you dont let them see someoneelse they would think you are the only one..you are the real deal like you teach them..

if you have something to hide,not wanting them to know (like some experiences..some people..being beaten by someone or being abused somehow..anything )
anything shows you weaker than you show them how strong you are

if you cant control them , they would hear or see or learn somehow about you..even if you dont have nothing to hide you are hiding the outer world beside the world you draw in their mind..

so you are abusing them cause you want them to feel weak,so you could control them easier if they feel weaker
you are hiding the real you from them and controlling them is the only way to keep them away from the truth..

thats why they both abuse and control..
I think it is carried over from a controlling parent in part, and also they are always very insecure about themselves. I also found that most controllers and abusers are also cheating on their spouse, and the control is to try to keep them from finding out what they are doing. Most abusers are also either doing drugs or alcohol or both. I lived with one and my daughter just got away from hers. If a person hits their spouse and gets away with it, they will do it again.
abusers definitely have an upper hand on their subjects in a situation. upper hand often comes from their relationship with the subjects such as boss and subordinate, sometimes from social or political position, sometimes from financial influence or from possession of articles like weapons and so on.

they have less self control over their own strength. they get pleasure from seeing the sufferings of their subjects. sometimes people who are themselves abused in their growing period take these events as a part of their accepted culture and repeat the same events on others in their society.
They reject personal responsibility.
Well, maybe because they're losing control of their lives that they find that abusing people may be the answer. That seems like a general answer, but when you're at a loss for an alternative option, harm appeals to them as if it's life's solution. And you base them on their past experiences if they ever felt abused or controlled, whether it'd be from their parents or someone close to them, and later on, those memories and emotions bottled inside erupt.
Oh wow that is a painful question and an even more painful answer.

I don't think it is the same accross the board. That is something I 'have' learned.

I am starting to believe that many abusers do not want to be abusive and I have seen people change.

That's as far as I want to go with this right now. I may come back to it later.

Healing to all! Find your happiness through holistic health and a life of action.

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