How do you gain Confidence without gaining arrogance along with it?
I just read in O magazine an article about confidence that stated something to the effect of:
Confident People are certain that they will eventually succeed even if they make mistakes
Under Confident People are certain that they will fail so they don't try
Overly Confident People are certain that they will succeed without having to do any work
You must do things to create your success. Accomplishment and hard work will give you pride and self-confidence. Arrogance assumes that you don't make mistakes and you don't do any work. Confident people keep trying until they succeed. Arrogance assumes that people who aren't handed things on a silver platter are worth less. Arrogance fails when the silver platter starts arriving empty.
By remaining humble about your abilities.
I think having confidence with a sense of compassion, integrity, and a kind heart will steer you away from arrogance.
I'm not sure yet but I think that it takes a life time to do it properly. It involves not caring too much what people think but still keeping a reasonable amount of self-awareness.
by staying true to yourself and what you believe
That is hard to answer, but if you are confident that will always be mistaken by a certain number ofb the less confident as arrogance. Psychologtical studies indicate that a number normally confident people and people who lack self-esteem see very confident people as often being both pushy and arrogant, even as braggarts. That is just a side effect if you will. fortunatley as people get to know you they find out you are just a positive person not afrid of living or of life's challenges and they often repsect you a great deal. They will always come to you if they need a ddelicate task handled becuase they know you are unafrid to forge ahead.
As to how to gain more confidence, that takes time and I don't think can just happen overnight. I have always been, so i can't relate to not being. My wife initially was not but i pushed her gently to tackle things she never would have before we met and over time she is a self-reliant and confident person. Stil, she is more shy than I am, but that makes for a good balance.
There are hoards of books to help people with self esteem and confidence, but no miracle way that I know of by any means.
One thing that can help is yo know that we often think more critically of ourselves (and percieve that others see us in a critical way) than really do. You also have to develop and attitude of self-assuredness as you forge ahead.
Try checking the slef help areas of your bookstores.
Good question. I like the phrase, " Be tough minded and tender hearted." I think that sums it up quite well.
According to Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism, the basic idea involves "the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute". An example of this idea is Howard Roark from "The Fountainhead" who had such a strong sense of belief in himself and his works that, despite every possible attempt to knock him down, not only did he survive, but so did his work as an architect, with the added bonus that fraudsters were also exposed in the process. Some might argue that Roark was arrogant, but I would argue that Roark knew what he was good at, and more importantly, knew that he could not change the minds of others who were unwilling to be changed, and perhaps it is that which made him not arrogant but genius.
i agree with Mr.Gee,if you remain humble in all you do then arrogance will have no place in your life.
Confidence without arrogance is the realization that there is no empirical way to measure yourself against others in accomplishments intellectually or socially. Even Stephen Hawkings is humble. Humility is also a byproduct of ego strength, if you feel good about yourself than confidence is only a need to please others needs not your own.
acceptance, tolerance, determination
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