Dealing with guys when you're damaged goods?

Sorry, I hate to use that term but I can't think of a nicer way to say it. Both men and women out there, I'd love to hear your advice on this!

So, I got sexually assualted a few months back, and now the thought of a guy touching me really creeps me out. I'm in college, and there are a lot of very nice guys around - who I'd probably love to date under different circumstances. My problem is that I don't know what I'd say if any of them put themselves out there.

I feel like turning them down without an explanation would really hurt their feelings, and telling the truth would just freak them out, and make them think of me as scary and damaged. I don't want to do either - they don't deserve to be punished for this! So, what would be the best way to handle this? Thanks very much.

Answer:
I don't think that becoming a nun will solve your problem.
I do think therapy will.

Who is punishing you for this experience?
simple... You are.
and there is no reason for you to do that.

We create our own realities through our perceptions of them. Right now, you perceive yourself to be "damaged goods", when in actuality, you aren't. This has become a problem because of how you think and feel about it.
It seems from your words that you are an empathetic person ( worrying about the guy's feelings and not wanting to hurt them)-- it is time now for you to use that empathy and compassion towards yourself to heal by letting go of this experience and learning from it rather than allowing it to "damage" your life. But give yourself time.. those nice guys who are attracted to you will be attracted to you later as well.. right now you need to work through this and integrate it.
No need to rush into a relationship right now until you feel ready for it. Your life is about you, first and foremost-- your own experience. Take care of you.

Find a reputable councilor/ therapist to help you shift your thinking patterns, and the feelings will follow. You aren't damaged goods because of your experience-- but you do need to work through the experience and get your thinking back on track.
You could probably become a nun. That might be the best solution all around. My wife is sort of the same situation you are, and I wish she had become a nun after that and saved us all a lot of grief.

I am not kidding about this.
see someone about it, there is help out there. and i really don't recommend taking some so called yahoo answers guru advice for such a situation.
be strong and good luck!
Never pose a question such as this where you'd be answered by a derelict first and foremost.
Secondly, seek proper help if you truely need it. A question such as yours is very difficult for one whom may not know you.
This is serious. Try to get proper help please. This is very sad.
I hope you are receiving counselling regarding the assault, if not, don't wait. It does help and the longer you wait to get help the longer a victime suffer. Be a Survivor!

If someone does ask you out, you can always say thanks, but your school work is consuming all your free time. You do not owe people an explanation for how, or why you feel the way you do. You'll know when, and if, you trust someone enough to tell them your story.

Good luck, and be kind to yourself.
Well, maybe you feel traumatized because of it, probably it will never go away from your mind. You can only bear the burden all the way.

You are not damaged good .......... are you kidding me. You are a person, some people out there have tragic experience maybe worse than you. But still, give yourself a rest for a while ..... you deserve a partner ...... a man ..... your future companionship.

But for now, just don't tell them your truth. After you get married, yes ........ then you can say it.

All i can say is try to be your old self, if you don't, they all will hate you without reason as you did to them.

God Bless You.
First thing I would like to tell you is that we are all damaged goods in varying degrees. I am very sorry to hear that you were assaulted and that has to be very difficult to work through. While I am not trying to minimize what you went through you need to know everyone is jacked up in their own special way.

Frankly as far as your problem is concerned... don't worry about it. Seriously, it will just add to the anxiety and it will take that much longer to make those steps forward. As far as telling a guy no without hurting his feelings~ Check this out:

I am sorry, I just had a really bad experience and I don't feel ready to date yet.

That is not a lie but it isn't just throwing your life's issues at them out of left field. If they ask further just explain that you are not really ready to talk about it yet either but that you appreciate their concern. Look at it like this... the wrong guy will go away, the right guy will hang out for a minute and try to proceed with caution which is probably what you need.

Now once you get on a date, please don't freak about what you are going to do if he does this or that. Try and keep your first several dates as group dates or in public so you can get a better idea as to who he is without worrying about him getting frisky. After a few dates you will have a better idea as to what you want to do next. Like I said, the man that is right for you will be happy to go slow and make sure you are comfortable because he will be trying to not scare you.
I think you need therapy.
I am a man, so can't begin to understand how a sexual assault can affect a girl, but I know it must be horrendous.
I think that you should find a therapist and talk it over. You must get over it or your life will be blighted.

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