My relationship with my mom is going down the drain its so sad......?

I am going through some tough times in college and so I call her a lot to help me through she is all I have, if it wasnt for her I know I couldnt make it through. And she saying my problems are draining her so she won't even pick up my calls any more and then mother's weekend is this weekend and she is not even coming. : ( Am I a bad daughter?

Answer:
The problem is not your mom, it's you. Really, do you have problems? You are not starving. You don't lack oxygen. You have clothes. You aren't in a concentration camp. Just look at this moment, this now. I'm sure there is nothing wrong. Don't look at the past, don't look at the future. Just look at the now.

OK. So, go read "The Power of Now" by Tolle, Eckhart

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/eckhart_tol...

Now, this won't solve all your problems, but it will start to give you a perspective.

The next thing I want you to read is
don Miguel Ruiz and don Jose Ruiz · "The Four Agreements"

http://www.miguelruiz.com/

These are the four agreements:

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/don_miguel_...

The Four Agreements (1997)

* Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

* Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

* Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

* Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.



This is very important for you. Think about what you are doing with your mother. Are you being impecable with your word? No, I doubt it. I bet most of it is complaining and gossip. You are taking everything that everyone is doing personally. Nothing any one does is personal against you. It's all in THEIR head. Don't take it personally, don't take it seriously. Even professors, no, especially professors, to them, you interrupted thier lives, you came into their world and...everyone did...just don't take it personally!! People blame the copymachine and think it is doing it to them personally, you've seen that!!! Come on, you know better than that.

Don't make assumptions. Worse is to make assumptions about people's actions, and then take it personally, OK, and then you bother you mom about it.

Well, and the last one, what else is college about? Read the WHOLE book. It will make a lasting impression. It will change you life.

Go to counselling on campus. It's usually free or very cheap. You're mom will pay, I'm sure!!!

"Am I a bad daughter?" = a) you are not being impecable with your word, you are being manipulative, you want someone to feel sorry for you and whatever... b) you are taking how your mother is reacting personally, NO!!! she is tired. it's not you. she is just tired. there's problably other people in her life just like that, probably her own mother {OK, I'm making assumptions} c) you are making assumptions about how she is feeling and what she is thinking d) you are not trying your best to deal with your life -> it is simpler than you think.

OK. Have at it.
Were talking about a bad mother not a bad ddaughter
No, you are not a bad daughter. Maybe you should talk to your friends about the smaller problems and save the big ones for mom. I get so upset when I watch the news and it's one horrible story after another. Maybe she just wants you to call her with the good things going on in your life instead of the stressfull things. Good luck with college.
For feeling bad? No. For seeking advice here? Well... maybe.
You're not a bad daughter. Though my advice to you at this point would be to seek some outside counseling. As much as talking to someone you love can be helpful, so can bringing in someone who is more detached from your life and the people in it. Sometimes it can help even more.
Sometimes our loved ones have a hard time hearing about bad things we are going through because they already care about us and it hurts to see or hear us hurt.
No, you are not a bad daughter. If anything its your mom thats the bad person. She is supposed to be there for you in your times of need not abandon you. Sure a moms work is draining but thats something a real mother can deal with. I know if you were my daughter I would be there anytime you needed me.
Your mom needs to get her priorities together..Being a mom to you should come first.

Hope your relationship gets better
Maybe too much trivia and drama for mom. Sounds as if you love her and that's a good thing just take it easy on mom for a while.
She's being a good mom. It's time to get off the tit and start making you're own life. For awhile, it's hard for both mother and daughter. And, there will be a time when you draw back together. But, the emotional break has to be rather complete for you AND for her in order for both of you to be able to build new and healthy emotional support systems and relationships. The BEST women around had mothers who had the decency and courage to back away like this when it was time. Mother's who perpetuate their daughter's childhood bonds and emotional dependence are not behaving in their daughter's best interests.
You are not a bad daughter and neither is your mother a bad person. A mother loves her child so much that they can feel their pain and when they can't help they can become drained. Maybe you should try going to counseling and your mother can go with you too.
Listen.. you don't need counseling, you don't need psychiatric help.. what you need to do is try to understand your mother and what she is trying to do for you.. SHE WANTS YOU TO GROW UP..BECAUSE SHE IS NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE AROUND.. AND YOU HAD BETTER LEARN TO STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET.. shes your mother, she has done her job, and she is still doing it.. but there comes a time when she has to cut the apron strings.. you are not in high school.. you are moving to the next phase of your life.. ask yourself this.. what would you do if she became ill and died next week.. you would not have anyone and she knows that.. trouble is.. you haven't figured it out yet.. Momma cannot keep you a baby any longer.. You need to cut her some slack.. she probably sits at home and worries herself to death that you are too dependent on her... most likely she hates the idea of your not being home with her, but she knows that you have to learn to fly..ON YOUR OWN.. if money is a problem.. then go find a part time job and help out... this ain't no picnic for her either.. so come on.. wake up.. and grow up.. it's time.. don't you think?
You're not a bad daughter. You're having difficulties, but apparently so is your Mom. Since you're in college, don't they have some kind of counseling service you could go to for some guidance? They would be able to give you some unbiased advice. Moms are too emotionally invested usually anyway. If your college doesn't have a counseling service, try a local church or the local mental health clinic. Best of luck to you. Keep your chin up, college years are difficult, but this too shall pass.
No you are not a bad daughter, if you are a bad daughter then I am a bad son because basically when I reached the age of 16 my parents said we can't afford you, get out. By the way, we provided for you for 16 years and we don't want to see you again. Their marriage went next and I never did see either of them again and when I made appoaches I was rebuffed. I was the unwanted child that kept them togethor.

It is an awful hard blow to take I know, but it is not your fault, it's your Mom's. Don't give up complete hope, one day there is a better than even chance she will change her mind and reach out to you.

If she doesn't, you have lot's of company. People who made good lives for themselves, many who also turned out to be caring and kind people who do a lot of good for the world.

It's difficult to accept but even SOB's can have children and it's hard for the child to find out that their parent(s) are SOBs and even harder to accept, there is a lot of denial because deep down inside every child wants their parents to love them, so it takes a long time sometimes to accept the truth. I'm a Christian and I used to torture myself over the honor your father and mother commandment. A priest eventually pointed out that I had honored them and God not only understood, but His love was full, unconditional and had no bounds.

God bless you and others know what you are going through eventually you will meet some and we have an underground secret society of those who understand the birthdays and the Christmases and help each other get through them.

I agree with person who said you should get counselling and a good book is "A Boy Called It" by Dave Peltzer. I reread it all the time just to remind myself.
maybe she's also coping with her own personal problems. when you talk to her about your problem, ask her too about hers. talking about each others life will strengthen your bond. try to understand her. she'd been there for you and i believe she will continue to be your friend. so take it easy.
YOUR MOM SOMEHOW MAKES YOU EVEN TOUGHER THAN YOU EXPECT.. FOR ME IT'S A LEARNING. YOU CAN SHOW TO YOUR MOM HOW YOU CAN HANDLE THE SITUATION REGARDING DAUGHTER-PARENT RELATIONSHIP..IN SOME OTHER REASON YOUR MOM HAS A PROBLEM DEEP INSIDE..YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR FIRST MOVEMAYBE SHE NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION. PEOPLE SOMETIMES BEHAVE STRANGELY. TRULY, YOU ARE A GOOD GIRL BUT MAKE IT TO THE POINT THAT YOU CAN CONVINCE YOUR MOM TO TALK TO YOU OR ELSE YOU WILL BE MISSED A PART OF LONGING WHERE YOUR MOM NEED YOU MOST. IN MY OPINION YOUR MOM NEEDS YOU, THOUGH SHE DIDN'T SHOWN HER CONCERN BUT YOU HAVE TO APPROACH HER AS YOUR FIRST MOVE.GOD BLESS YOU..
No! It appears to me she thinks you are still a fledgling. Like a bird you need to exercise your skills and fly away from the nest.
No, no no! You sound like you're the one reaching out here and she's not responding. I am a mom also of a college student and she has a lot of problems. They are mainly physical problems that stress her out while she's trying to earn her degree. And it can be distressing for me because what hurts her, hurts me. That's the way it is with moms. If they love you, they feel your pain as if it were their own. I'm sorry your mom won't answer your calls. I don't know why she's not coping well with your problems, perhaps she has some problems of her own that are overwhelming her. Yet, a mother should ALWAYS be there for their kids in these situations. If she won't answer your calls, write her a letter. Tell her how much you need her right now and that you don't mean to place stress on her. Remind her it's her duty as a mother to be there for you! I really hope and pray she'll turn this around. I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time. Hang in there and just keep trying to communicate with her. In the mean time, see a guidance counselor at school so you have someone you can talk with and vent to. Good luck.
go 2 peekvid and watch the movie the secret
Get some counciling

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