My sister has low self esteem issues.?

She is constantly apologizing for everything, and when anything goes wrong with anybody or anything, she thinks it's always her fault. If she hasn't heard from me for awhile, she is convinced that she must have done something to upset me and that I am mad at her. It's very annoying. What can be done?

Answer:
that's sad if it's like that believe it's your birthright to be bad and wrong and care a damn!
Come on, don't lie. You know it's you and not your sister.
talk with her and *be sincere* when you tell her that shes the best sister. little things now and then will boost her self esteem.
omfg... i thought i was the only one... get her to a psychiatrist, it's probably more serious than you think. i started acting like this when i was about 6 years old and i was bad depressed and nobody knew it 'cause i didn't show it... maybe it's not the same but it sounds like you took the words right out of my mouth.

also, does she have to confess every little thing she's done wrong?
I don't know your sisters age but has she considered Assertiveness Training? In the UK this is a class that can be taken in the evenings and it empowers people that otherwise are not used to speaking up for themselves. That aside, I suggest you remind your sister we are each only responsible for ourselves as adults, and reassure her that she is a valued, loved, worthwhile person. If I were in your position I would look for ways to help my sister improve her self-esteem and make good choices for herself. She is fortunate to have a caring, loving sister. I wish her better future self-esteem.
Is she a recovering catholic? I'm Cristian, but I looked up some Buddhist teachings that really helped me with low self-esteem and guilt issues. Look up buddhism.kalachakranet.org. It's helped me more than councling, the bible, church, medicine. It doesn't go against Christianity either. They have some quotes from the bible in there too. It will change her thinking forever. I promise. It's not cult like either. The Buddha himself says...Do not accept any of my words on faith, Believing them just because I said them. Be like an analyst buying gold, who cuts, burns, And critically examines his product for authenticity. Only accept what passes the test By proving useful and benificial in your life. This will help her self esteem because it encourages every individual to use their own intellect and wisdom to figure out what the teachings mean for them. Guilt is learned and can be unlearned. There's a difference between guilt and conviction. Guilt is a negative, paralysing emotion, based on non-ecceptance of oneself or the situation, and leads to depression and frusteration rather than change or improvement. Now, I personally don't think anyone should try to change themselves. No matter what we learn and grow from, we are still creatures of habbit. I don't care how much mind over matter and awareness someone has. We are still messed up humans. If we say "I've changed", and we slip into a old behavior for a few days, that will create a feeling of failure and goes right back into the viciuos cycle of guilt, shame, self-hatred, and low self-esteem. Instead of "change", lets say, "I'm going to learn how to be a better version of me". Then you except who you are, knowing your short commings and read, listen, pray, live by example, have a sense of humor and go on with your life applying what you learn. If you have a bad few days and the bad behaviors you thought you unlearned poison your brain again, pay close attention to your triggers. It could be a place, a person, or even a smell that reminds you of your past that should stay in your past. Face your fear. Accept it. Have awareness. Read, again, whatever helped you get past the problem before. Refresh your brain. Except the conviction you feel from your "little moment" you just had. Learn and grow from it. Move on guilt free and add it to your life expeirience so you can be a testamony for someone else some day. Hug your sister and tell her that she's beautiful and she's worth loving just the same as the next person. No one is better than someone else. She's sensitive. That's awsome. We need sensitive people in this world. There's so many people walking around just thinking about money and their ego. Your sister is smarter than she knows because she's already realized that "ego" is a trouble maker . She doesn't even have one and knows she doesn't need one because of the problems it causes. So the next time she puts herself down say, "Sis, I wish I could be that humble for just one day". And then tell her you appriciate her humbleness, but she needs to except compliments, and then tell her your favorite thing about her. She will try to interupt your compliment with yet another negative comment about herself and point it out that she does that. Tell her it hurts you. She's sensitive. She doesn't want to cause hurt to anyone. She's too nice. But God gave her to us weird humans for a reason. Here's something else I got on this site......For all the evil deeds I have done in the past Created by my body, speech and mind, From beginningless greed, hatred(even towards yourself) and delusion(low self-esteem), I now know shame and repent them all. (Traditional Repentance Verse from"The Practices& Vows of Samantabadra Bodhisattva" God Bless you and your sister. You're a good sister.
The first thing that definitely should not be done is to tell your sister that she is being annoying. There must be a reason behind her overall state of mind, and whatever it is, it won't release its grip overnight. There's one thing that might help ease things up when it comes to the very last part of your sister's tendencies, however. Tell her (gently) that correspondence is a two-way street and that you would just love to hear from her every once in a while too. Invite her to talk whenever she wants to. When she follows that advice, be happy that she called, and show it in your voice. Her confidence in her relationship with you shall grow.
Anyway, good luck, whatever you do.

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