A sad situation I need advice on. Please help and answer?

I was hoping to have advice on this. i am 23. i never had a relationship or even a real-life genuine friend. So, I currently have no in-person friends. I never went on a date or had my first kiss. I never even held hands. I never went to a prom, homecoming dance or a winter formal. I never went to the party or over the house of someone of the opposite gender. I am not sure why this happened. how do you feel about this?

If I was asked how I feel about it. My answer would be it is unimaginable how painfully and sorrowful it is.I have a void of any memories and no one to enjoy life with. I have cried often from the searing sadness of being alone.

Will you please help me?

Answer:
This sounds so much like me when I was younger. I kept thinking to myself "How did I miss all this stuff...what's wrong with me?" Well, I married the first man who showed any interest in me, and boy was that a disaster..

Anyway, this is about you. It is not too late to create experiences for yourself. It is hard, but you just have to get out there. I finally made some friends when I took a restaurant job. It is a hard job that required everyone to work as a team, so we all became close. People started to ask me to go out with them. It is awkward if you can't dance and you aren't a brilliant conversationalist, but it gets better with practice.

My suggestion is to change jobs, join a club or volunteer. Put yourself out there and try to meet as many people as possible. Keep busy and be out in public, and hopefully, things will turn around.
Even though you feel alone, you aren't. There are other people with these or similar experiences, you just don't know them.
I don't know what i can do to help but email me any time you want. i check it almost every day. I am here if you need me.
I sort of know what you mean. I have been fortunate to have many good friends in my life, but my trouble is holding onto them. It seems like there are times when I really have no one close to me outside of my family, to talk to.

In my case, I am pretty quiet and keep to myself, so that is why I don't have a ton of friends.

If you are looking for a friend, you need to reach out to people. Be friendly. Ask questions. Find people you have something in common with.

You can always message me if you need an online friend. :)
I'm so sorry that you feel this way. You may be very shy and have a hard time talking to others. If you ad me as a contact I will email you, if you want someone to talk to.
Sit here and wallow why don't ya? Not to be harsh, but 23 years is a hell of a long time. You missed out on a lot it is true, but theres still hope girl.

Just you absolutely CANNOT just sit here on the computer and wallow about these sorrows...You wanna experience these things? GO OUT and meet people...do something about it. Be active, just go out and have fun. Break out of the bubble you are living in and just let if go. I bet you tons of people on the streets and whatnot are dying to meet you. You just have to make that effort to go out and approach those people. You want to be alone no more? Then DO SOMETHING about it before you start regretting anything anymore.

Didn't mean to sound harsh, just needed to get my point across. Best of luck.
I know it seems like it can't get better, but it can, and it will. Your 20s are a time of discovery and finding yourself, and I suggest you do a bit of that. Look into getting involved. Church groups. Book clubs. Garden clubs, even. Anything that you're interested in.You'll be surprised at the people you meet.

Secondly, be confident. If you go around being sorry for yourself (don't mean to come off as harsh) then people won't want to engage you. Go in with enthusiasm, and people will usually respond. There are alot of genuine, good folks out there, just got to find them.

Put your past behind you, look towards the present with an optimistic eye, and don't give up hope!

Good luck!
well ma'am if you are in need of a real friend you could email me... im sorry that no one really warmed up to you. im actually going to be 23 also ... umm im stationed overseas right now... and would love to have you as a friend... you sound in great need of one and i would wish to be one... my email is donny_dasailor@yahoo.com... but if you think thats creepy its ok. im just tring to help...
Why haven't you done these things? Look at your current environment and situation and think critically (not in a bad way, just an objective way) about yourself. Do you still go to school or have a job? How much time everyday do you spend in the presence of other people vs. being alone.

It seems difficult, but it could be that there is someone you come into contact with who feels the same way, and all you have to do is open up a little. If all you do is stay at home in your "comfort" zone, you can't meet people. Put yourself out there and see what you find.
I've been in a similar situation too. I did not attend public schools as a child and pretty much grew up in isolation. I know what it's like to feel alone. Try not to be discouraged. I would encourage you to seek out and get involved in some social events (things you enjoy) where you can meet other people and make friends. It may be difficult, but you have to take the first step and get out . You are very young and it's not too late. Have you thought about College? That is a good opportunity also to meet other people. Church can also be good...especially if they have social activities for young people. Hope this helps...
I feel very sad for you. It seems that you have had a very lonely life and I can't help but wonder what type of circumstances could lead to someone your age being so isolated. The best thing I could say to you is you are going to have to help yourself. Try going to church or just even joining some sort of club, do you have any hobbies that you would like to share? please feel free to contact me. i'd be more than happy to be an online friend. You may not want to hear this but it helps me to pray when I need advice and comfort. I will not preach my beliefs at you if you contact. You don't say if you have any family? It is terrible to feel that alone and I am with you. I will pray for you.
I would of been your freind, i would of been a good freind. everyone goes through pain...some more than others. i have never gone to prom havnt had a lot of consistent freinds.

I dont know you, but i love who you are. I know that this is the last thing you wanna hear but you dont need anybody but yourself i promise. YOu & god, but it's not anyones fault if things havnt worked in the past then address problems in a way you havnt before what do you have to loose?
i just want to hug you, you make me want to cry. Because all this pain you feel i want to take it away from you. why?...because i have an ability to feel what others feel, i feel the energy and i can take on others emotions so the same emotions everyone else feels i do too. If you need someone to talk to e-mail me. i want to help you.

take a chance. be vulnerable give yourself to someone if you get hurt its okay...it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It's time to give yourself what you deserve what are your hearts truest desires?
well im only 17 but actually theres quite a few people out there like you that i know of, But You need to look at what you got in front of you right now, you got a lot of life left to live, and you still have plenty of time to have fun, Make Friends,Be crazy, and create alot of memorys. While your worrying about the memorys you never made in the past, Your losing more time when you could be making memories.
oh sweetheart...i am so sorry you didn't get to experience those things...however...you also didn't get to experience the total devastation of a friend setting you up and hurting you in front of others...going to prom/dance/party with someone who wanted to go further than you were willing to go...having that horrible kiss from the guy you always had a crush on and it destroying the moment...holding hands with a teen boy who is sweating so badly all you can think of is how to get your hand in your pants pocket...

I know it seems like a void...but you missed some of the most hurtful heartache of a lifetime and while you don't have them memories...believe me when i say...not all memories are happy ones...and most people make things seem better than they actually were because if they were honest about it...it would throw them into a deep depression and you would see how pitiful it was...

if you feel alone you can always email me...i work a lot but will respond...no one is totally alone...especially when they reach out...someone is always there to virtually if not in person, take your hand...
hey there my only advice would be to try to recognize what is holding you back from jumping into this magnificent world of friendship and love- fear,self-doubt,low self esteem? I would try to remember that no matter how daft you feel when in a new situation or if you dont think what you have to say is "cool" enough, someone out there has definately made a bigger fool of themselves or said something stupider than you! I am an expert at making a fool of myself (especially when im nervous) but the best thing about being human is that no one's perfect! Love and friendship are two of the most important things in life so try to take the plunge and get into a situation where you have new people around you all the time(volounteer for something that makes you feel good ,like at a shelter or refuge) and just know that whatever it takes or how hard it may be it WILL be the best thing you have done for yourself so dont be afraid!! Just do it girl before you only have a house full of stray cats to entertain you instead of a house full of friends! Good luck i hope you find the happiness that you deserve.
i don't know you, yet i know a little about you..

i would just suggest to stop pretending to be something you are not.. and be yourself..

i assume you have a good heart and you want someone to share that with.

be upfront about what you want and need in a relationship and i feel certain that the rest of it will fall into place.

good luck with everything triestobekind.

i know they are out there.. you just need to stop hiding from them.
first of all i have to ask why? is it because you move? or are just shy? just wondering.

second of all it's not that weird... other people go through the same thing and just have those experiences later in life...

third, i have to tell you (having had too much experience in this area) you aren't that bad off. know all that pain you're feeling right now? yea, that would still be there from friends that stabbed you in the back or a boyfriend that cheated on you or some other drama in your life, so just know you're not that bad off so don't feel so bad

now on to advice: honestly? the best thing i can say to do is to get out there and make some friends! talk to people and just have fun! best friends arn't made over night, they're made through some experience that the two of you share and you have that bond afterward. until then don't push for closeness with someone, just look for someone to hang out and have fun with, it'll grow on it's own from there.

as for guys- it's basically the same advice. never go out looking for a boyfriend or significant other because most of the time you'll get guys who aren't looking for the same things you are. always become casual friends with a guy first and then (just as with a regular friend) your relationship will grow with time and experiences, like parties, tragedies and fond memories. then you will get all the experiences that you think you missed, but honestly? they come at different times for different people so this is your time and just go with it and have fun!!

hope that helped! consider me a friend if you want to talk more! :)
Why? Why haven't you done any of these things? Are you disabled,unattractive? Were you raised with no skills on self-esteem and no assertiveness?
Take a chance and start living!!! At 23 you can only blame yourself for the sadness and pain.
Take those chances and live.
I feel for you really, but do you plan to spend the rest of your life crying and feeling bad for not doing all those things you wanted to do. Are you going to be 70 years old and regret not doing so many things while you were younger.. This is you time to be doing those things. Go out, go to school meet people, go find some few friends from work to hang out. Get out of the computer scene and enjoy life. Good Luck.
Young lady were in the world have you been living in another world or a time warp that is not of this world.
I mean how do you miss so many of the things you described that we all go through in our teenage years which some of the things you mentioned come during those formative years how in the world did that all pass you by?
I mean lets be frank here did you have over bearing very restrictive parents that denied you all of these things in your early life you are 23 years old now and that is gone and you cannot get that back and you ask us how do we feel well I'm telling you this is down right sad I mean I just trying to comprehend all of this you wrote here your the first I have ever met that has gone through a young life and never experienced any of this not even a boyfriend,holding hands with the opposite sex not even a kiss.
Yeah I guess you have cried often I know I would as well but you know what life is not over for you even at 23,listen you can't change the past or go back and change what you missed that is gone forever but you can start living in the now and present ok.
You can wallow in what you missed back in the day or you can start living now and moving forward which is it going to be?
You can start making a life and memories right now is anyone stopping you like family or is it just you stopping you?
And what I find interesting is that you say you are not sure why this happened to you well I beg to differ if anyone would know why this happened to you is You I mean who else is there besides your family that would know why this took place in your life.
Either dwell on this or move forward either one you are going to have to do because life is not going to stop because you want to know why this happened now is it there is a lot in all of our lives we would want to know why it happened but we also still have to move forward in life as well and that is what you need to do ok I'm sorry this happened to you but while you are trying to come to grips with this move forward ok don't put your life on hold because before you no it instead of you being 23 you will be 43 and than you'll wonder were did twenty years go that fast and believe me as you get older time moves very fast so start moving forward because none of us knows how much time we have left on Earth,only God,and he is not telling us and won't until that day comes okay Good luck and I'll be thinking about you and hope your doing well.
I pray there is not a darker side to this story than you care to admit, even on your computer. I mean circumstances that are out of your control. If that is the case there are many people here for you to choose from to help you find a way. I hope this is not the case. My heart feels you have been treated unjustly for some reason, and if I can help I will. My e-mail add. is cloudsofhorses@yahoo.com please take us seriously, and it is no-ones place to judge you. Please ignore the ones that do. Everyone has problems and needs help @ one time or another. You can't change the past but we as understanding fellow human beings, are here to help you change the future. You are my friend as of today. Anything I can help you with I will.
i will be your friend i dont like too hear of people being buy them self its not good, and theres all ways some one out there

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