After counselling?

Hi,

I see a counsellor at the moment who is helping me deal with a lot of things. unfortunately the service is short term and i know i will have to leave before i am really ready, which is upsetting as it takes me a long time to build up trust with people.

My question is, for people who have been to counsellors.. when it ended, how did it feel?
where you glad it was over and felt you have learned enough to cope alone or very upset, felt isolated, rejected etc?

I am just interested to know peoples experiences. thanks
x

Answer:
I personally felt completely rejected and abandoned. It had taken me so long to trust him and when I finally did I got used to having him there to turn to. When he told me it was time to end sessions I damn near begged him not to. He made me a deal, I had to stop seeing him for three months, relying on myself and others instead. If after that time I still felt I needed to see him I could call and would take me back, but the catch was the time would be spent trying to figure out why I needed him so much. Turns out he was right, after three months my urgent need to see him all the time dwindled. I learned to deal in healthy and productive ways, and sometimes we still talk so I can tell him how GOOD I am finally doing, thanks to everything he has done for me.
was in same boat.. saw a bereavement councillor for short term.. didnt really get any answers or help.. i felt it was a waste of time as i was not offered any more follow up etc.. just cut off, that was it... strange... i just ended up coping alone as i felt let down totally..

best wishes to you xx
You need to tell exactly this to your counselor. Your biggest priority with any time left you have with him is to have him/her help you set up a support system.
If you feel that you need more help, ask your counselor to refer to you to someone who can help you on a more long term basis. I had a counselor in college who was leaving at the end of the month but never told me until the last day. I was horrified ! There was no way that I wanted to start over with someone else. I never went back and it took a very long time for me to work through my issues w/ my parents divorce. In hindsight, I should have seen the other counselor.
I have to say, I didn't find my counsellor at all useful and actually ended up feeling better for not going (I stopped after three or four sessions). I eventually found more comfort and support than I could ever need in a relationship with Christ Jesus, and the community of His church. Try an Alpha course as a great way to learn about the life God wants for you, and to get to know some wonderful new friends.
Over all, I felt okay - but there was some underlining feelings:

I was a little scared (can I do this on my own?)

a little sad to depart from someone who helped me heal a big part of my life

And a little apprehensive (how am I gonna make it?)

- but I acknowledge the feelings, accepted that I was only human and it was okay to have these feelings and went on...

I have not needed counseling again in 20 years...

When I do feel a bit overwhelmed (or start to have trouble again) I get out the self help books and review what I need. By addressing the problem before it gets out of hand, I am able to keep healing myself...

You will do fine - have faith in yourself, and know that if you need help again, you can always go back (and it is not a failure to do so)...

Hope this helps!
the system is rubbish. if i told you my 10yr experience with the system you would not believe the incompetency.
I saw a counsellor privately for several years. I loved it. What really helped, I think, was having someone whose attention was completely, unconditionally focused on me, for 50 minutes a week.

A few weeks ago she quit to take on an entirely new enterprise.

I've changed, with her help, a lot, in the way I think about myself. I don't know if my life or behaviour have changed much, but I feel calmer now and more buoyant.

I really miss her. I miss her as a person, and as a unique and valuable part of my life. I wouldn't have stopped seeing her, ever. I don't like making changes. I feel sad and deprived now, thinking about her, but I don't blame her or feel angry or anything. It's more like a favourite pub closing down.

I haven't started up with anyone else, but I think I shall, one day, before too long. My counsellor had a very particular, quite Freudian angle on individual emotional development. I'd like to see if someone else with a different approach could help me further. Shift a few more blocks.

Your circumstances are probably different from mine, but without knowing any more about you, I'd strongly suggest you see your GP and ask if you couldn't have some more counselling on the NHS. It is something a lot of practices favour, and it needn't cost much, if anything.
Going through counseling is normal, most everyone can benefit. Myself a counselor go through it from time to time. It is a requirement in our field for what is called, "Self-Care."
After the group of sessions are over, sometimes I do feel I have more to say, or need more advice on an issue. I do ask of colleagues and friends or people I know that have wisdom.
I also keep a journal of my thoughts, dreams, visions, and things that bother me. If I have an issue or problem I write it down so that I can deal with it later or find a solution on my own. If I can't find a solution that is when I ask a Minister, Mentor, Teacher, Friend or Colleague for help until I can see a Counselor again if I need to.
Hope this helps.

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