What is wrong with me?

I'm so isolated. I want to make friends but I don't know how. When I tell my family about this, they don't seem to understand. They say "you can make friends, your just not trying"... but then I ask: Do you ever try to make friends? And the answer is always well, no, it just happens. Making friends is something that will not "just happen" for me. I am so shy I can't look people in the eyes, and even if I could most of the time I feel like I'm in my own little world and want to do my own thing. I have tried to make friends before but it always backfires because I don't seem to know how people will react to what I say; people always think I'm rude and cocky. I am not very good at attending to what is going on in social situations; I miss things and then don't know what is happening in a conversation. I like people but I just don't seem to know how to relate to them.... What is wrong with me?

Answer:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, I am the same way. I am very particular with the type of people I associated myself with. In looking at the world in general everyone seems to be pretending to be something they are not, and I would not want to waste my time with this. I do not like to be around gossip, or people who are jealous of others, etc.
You are a deeply insightive person and probably can read into others feelings and personality before they even get two words out of their mouths.
You are unique and your world is special, many would love to live in it, but the world and al its havoc is so loud and busy that they do not have time for calm and peace, especially if they are used to rush, rush, rush.
You probably notice things that other people would look over.
You may need friends whom has a world similar to your own. If you like. You have found a friend in me, see how easy that was. Email and let me know how things are going.
It is fine to do your own thing, this is a sign that you are a leader and creative. The most shy person can be the strongest of them all.
Your family may seem not to have time , but if you present them with a time where everything is mellow. Hold the persons hand look into their eyes and say " I have much to learn and I look to you to guide me, I feel lost and alone and you have been here to comfort me, please don't turn from me now". Then explain that the problem is affecting you deeply. Social issues are very important now a days.
Find a place or event that makes you feel comfortable, and you will more than likely find someone that shares your world. If you like poetry, depending on where you live, go to a poetry reading event. You may find someone who shares your thoughts.
Also if you like animals, get a pet, like a puppy. Animals are the most faithful of all, and they are not judgmental either.
Lisa marie, a new friend
I dunno, but I have the same problem.
nothing. i say ur perfectly normal. =]
The lack of friends is most likely due to your breath smelling like a sack of buttholes.
You answered your own question.
nothing is wrong u just have to be more open and confident to talk to people!
maybe your just socially awkward.
And have you engaged with people online in order to make friends?
nothing is wrong with you people just can't accept you. Try just talking to a few people and they might become frinds with you. Don't try to make frinds with people who are considered "cool" by everyone else they have alot of friends but they don't have true ones. Just try to interact more with other people that you want to be friends. Good luck
Rude and cocky... sounds like fun to me. Send me an email some time.

On a side note. Find people who have similar hobbies. What are your hobbies?
your asking a woman with 10 friends all i do is find someone to sit by a lunch...or talk to someone who you sit by or someone who has a locker next to yours you mite just get some luck.....its hard to get friends good luck***%%%$$$!!!!!!
You're just shy... lots of people are. Depending on how old you are, you'll probably grow out of it... I did. I used to be exactly the same way.
Awww there's nothing wrong with you, i feel the same exact way you do. I'm also a very shy person and it can be hard for me to make friends, it usually takes the other person to notice me before i notice them, then I open up :) others do tend to think of shy people as reserved and unopen but its really not like that at all, we have a lot to express but just don't know how to do it, we lack in self confidence, that's what went wrong, it all depends on how you were raised as well, when i was little i wasnt allowed to go to my friend's house, my parents were very over-protective of me so that has a lot to do with it as well, your upbringing can affect your future. opening up isnt easy and it doesnt happen over night, as long as you have enough self esteem and confidence in you...you can achieve anything you want and can over this barrier, hopefully you will. there is nothing wrong with you at all, it takes only one person to see something speical in you, if others cant...they're just missing out. remember you have alot to offer good luck :)
Your just shy and it sounds like you have low self esteem, we cant all be outgoing. I think you may have a social phobia. I am shy, but I can look people in the eye, I walk with confidence and If i want something of a stranger I ask. I don't have many friends myself, its hard making friends. I suggest you go on a confidence building course, then join some groups/ hobbies.
I like horseriding so I do that.
If u go somewhere regular and see the same ppl, they will soon start talking 2 u.
I have the same problem. It could be social anxiety, or could be Asperger's syndrome.
You are socially shy. The best research done on shyness, started as research on prison guards. It seems shy people have this "guard" in their mind which tells them to avoid people and "don't make a fool of yourself." The guard is critical and frankly mean. The person responds to this "inner voice" by being fearful and shy in social situations.

To "fight this prison guard" you must stand up to the voice within you. Make a fool of yourself and then forgive yourself. Reach out and calm yourself in the fear. Talk to other people about this guard within you. Go see a school counselor. Go to a library and find information on shyness and learn more about it. Put what you learn to use.

Shyness can be dealt with, but it is not easy. You can do it.

Now, you are shy. NOTHING is wrong with you. That is the "guard" talking making you less confident and less open. Tell the guard to "bite the big one" and stand up for you.

Let me know how you do. Can you believe it. I was once shy. LOL
Dr. J
well i have kina the some problem and i just learn there name and start off with a random Question.like one of my best friends i met her at school and asked her how old she was .then i sat next to her at lunch cause she was new and wala we were friends cause she talked to me for help and gasup.it sounds corny but it worked with me. hope this helps

p.s start with people that you see almost all day that you have not aproched yet .and ask a random but nice question.
Try this exercise, which is designed to balance your brain hemispheres. Sense and feel something inside your body, like your weight, or your own eyes. Something bodily.

Then, while keeping part of your mind on that, put another part of your mind onto something you can see outside of you. Like, you are looking at something, and at the same time you are feeling your eyes, which are doing the looking and seeing. Then keeping those two, try to have your mind on the space between you, and what you are looking at. Even the space behind you, or behind the object. Then you have your mind and attention on three things at once, like multi-tasking only this is multi-perceiving.

This will stretch and exercise your ability to pay attention. Your description indicates that you have something like mental "tunnel vision". You miss things. Try just expanding your concentration so you are paying attention to as much as you can, inside you and outside. You need to get your attention "unstuck". Then, when you are good at this, you'll be able to listen and think at the same time, and this will help you. It will take you out of your "own little world", and enable you to look others in the eyes. When you look at their eyes, remember that you are looking at those eyes, THROUGH YOUR OWN EYES !

The left brain hemisphere sees details, and operates in focus, like a sharp laser beam. the right brain hemisphere works like a candle, seeing general shapes and contexts. With both working at once, your whole mind will work better. If using visuals isn't doing it, try with your ears, sensing sounds instead of seeing sights.

This is not always easy to do instantly. But when you get it, it will feel like you were living in a flat, 2-D world, and suddenly you jumped into 3-dimensions, which is where we are supposed to be.
Nothing is wrong with you. Try to relax and don't try to force friendships. Try to be happy. I used to worry about going places and meeting people and what impression I make and if they like me or not. Now I just get dressed up into something I really like, put my make up and decide ahead to go and have fun, no matter what and who is there. Be me. For me. It works. People come to you when you are relaxed and natural, the right ones. But you do need to give them a chance.. I had a friend who would always (later)complain she wasn't invited and would get offended and not go with the rest of us. The truth was, nobody was actually invited. It was more like somebody would suggest something and others would join in:" Which movie? I want to see that too. What time? "If they really don't want you, they'll find the way to avoid you. And that's ok too. You need to make yourself a part of the group you like, and not expect a special personalized invitation like my friend who never got it that she wasn't disliked or rejected because they thought she wasn't good enough but had too high expectations and did not take chance to participate.
And another thing. When I was younger I wanted to impress the cool crowd. When i did, I realized I didn't really want to be friends with most of them. I didn't like their ways or shared their views.I wanted to be with people I was comfortable with. You don't need to have too many friends. Most people I know have acquaintances, not really close friends for life. Just be yourself and make friends with people you actually like. Don't compromise. Don't be defensive. Have fun. Other people say stupid things too, and nobody is perfect.
Nothing. People are very hard to relate to. That's why its good to get involved with a group that has at least one interest the same as you do.
I'm thinking you have the wrong perception of what meeting people is all about. You actually do have to step out of your confort zone to meet people. When you're in school, you have to join with the others to do stuff. You have to plan things outside of your normal daily routine and go out with people. Try to hange with girls mostly at first . . .
Nothing is wrong with you. And that is the first thing you need to remember when you interact with people. Next, you need to understand that those on the other side (and I mean the people that you want to be friends with) are human too, with the same fears as you.
So when you look at people try not to think about how they will react or what they will say. Most important is to smile a lot. People like to talk to people that are nice and pleasant, and your fears make you feel uncomfortable. The conversation will come to you, try small talk, like the weather and the latest happening, and before you know it, you will talk about your hobbies and everything else.
Good luck, and remember that this thing happens to a lot of people.

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