My Mother is soooo hard on my on my weight, it hurts really bad. I'm not extremely fat, but why does she make

me feel like this?

Believe me, she does it because she loves you. My daughter is overweight--once she lost 80 lbs, and she was a totally different person. She was able shop at petite stores, had more energy, was more outgoing, and felt a whole lot better about herself and everything in general.

I had never said anything about her being fat or that she should go on a diet--because my mom always watched every bite I took, and I swore I would never do that to my children. Well, Jen started to gain her weight back, and I left her alone about it again. She gained 30 pounds back, so I reminded how hard it was to lose the first time, and then she cried and asked me why I didn't say something to her sooner.

In short, moms just want their children to be happy. Maybe she's just overly concerned. Have a long talk with her about it; maybe the two of you could learn to get along concerning your weight.

I came to grips with being overweight finally when one of my psych teachers told me some deeper reasons some people have for being overweight. With me I discovered that I was literally insulating myself from getting hurt emotionally. (This teacher also pointed out that a man could accept just about anything in a woman except her being fat.) Once i realized all this, i went on a diet and lost the extra weight.

I guess I'm going on about this so as to point out the complex dynamics involved, but just remember, you're mom loves you.
for a lot of mom's i think they just dont want you going thru life overweight, and they dont realize how much they hurt you or make you feel bad, they just want what is best for you and for you to be happy and healthy
She's living vicariously through her daughter and she doesn't want to be fat.
If you are comfortable with your weight, then that is all that matters. Your mom may just be concerned, but maybe you should talk to her about how this is making you feel.

Also, I believe in God, and maybe this won't help, but I know that no matter what people think about how I look or dress or whatever, that at least there's someone (God) who looks at the heart, not physical appearances.
She is trying to guilt or shame you into losing weight or not eating so much.
Ask her for help. Tell her you want to maintain a good weight and BMI as you grow and mature. You need her help to do what is best. Tell her she is hurting you by making those comments and that you just know she is trying to help but that is not the right way ~ you need her support to try to maintain your weight through your teen years. (or whatever years you are in)
It may seem typical, but in reality, your mother really does care about you. She feels like if you were a bit skinnier, things would go much easier for you. She thinks you'll become popular, make more friends, and have an overall better life.

Stupid, I know. Talk to her about it. Usually if you vocalize your pain, she'll understand where you're coming from. The next time she says something to you about your weight, say, "Mom, I can't stand it when you talk to me that way. My self confidence drops majorly. Please, stop. Why are you doing this?"

In the meantime, eat healthy and excercise a bit more to show her that you're trying your best to live up to her expectations. But just remember: Nobody's perfect, and I think your mom needs a reminder of that.

Good luck to you.
Yeah - she's afraid of being fat herself, so she feels she must protect you from it. Since she's a bit neurotic about weight in general, she is also afraid that if she sees you fat she won't be able to help judging you, since she'd judge herself (otherwise she'd have to face the irrationality of her neurosis). She's emotionally caught up in the idea of weight, so she's not thinking about how you feel, at least not very hard -- or she'd realize that her negativity will only make you negative about your body image.

I hope that just thinking of it that way makes it easier to dismiss her putting you down. But still, I think you should tell her that she is hurting you when she does -- tell her that she makes you feel bad about yourself, and making you feel bad about yourself saps your motivation to try to stay slim. Ask her how she would feel if her mother said those things to her.
Mom's want the best for their children even though its sometimes hard to comprehend how. I want to ask you, was your mom ever chubby? Like when she was a kid or during her adolescents?

Sometimes (actually most of the time) mothers do not want their children to experience embarrassing experiences that they had encountered. Maybe (if you mom had been or is chubby) she wants to make life easier for you by pressing your weight and making it an issue since she doesn't want you to be ridiculed or have a hard time interacting with men or getting dates (this could be that she had experienced this before).

But since you are not very comfortable on how she presses the issue, tell her that you are fine with your weight and that you appreciate her concern but you believe that you look good in your own way. Voice out how you feel in a polite way. Help her realize your point of view.

Hope that works!
Because she has toxic shame from her childhood that she is reenacting with you and it's a vicious cycle. If your mother is doing anything but showing unconditional love, it is abusive and you should tell her so. She needs therapy, and you will too if she keeps verbally abusing you.
What do you lack that compels you to over-eat? Why are you overweight in the first place? Does the act of eating replace something you are missing in your life?
By the way, nobody FORCES you feel anything. You choose how to perceive and react. You could just block her out.

The answers post by the user, for information only, does not guarantee the right.

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