Being a jealous person?

I'm a rather jealous person and I actually stopped being in denial about it today. I even wrote a blog about it. You can view it below.

http://strawberrysapphire.blogspot.com/...

Now my questions for you are as follows:

What causes jealousy? Why do you get that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you're experiencing jealousy firsthand? Is jealousy hereditary? Are people jealous because of their insecurities? If jealousy isn't hereditary, can you become a jealous person based on the way you were raised?

Answer:
Jealousy isn't hereditary. Nor is it (necessarily) based on the way you were raised. Jealousy is like a very destructive seed that YOU plant in yourself. (Not intentionally, of course.) Emotional, not intellectual, many reasons from feeling possessive to insecurity. lack of trust, (sometimes justified). The best, probably, that you can do--is focus on the positives of yourself, as you see yourself, & as others do. Some otherwise very good relationships have been smothered to death by jealousy. Yet, I "see" something else here? What would motivate your boy friend to comment on other women to YOU? What is the point of it, especially when he knows you "tend" to be jealous? Rather insenstive, UNLESS, he's doing this (consciously or not) to provoke you, & confirm how important he is to you? Think about that. He may be "insecure," also. IF that's true, seems a bit of game playing on his side, & anticipated reactions from you. I'd only suggest that you include in your questions (to yourself, of yourself) what role is he playing? I'm not saying this is the case, but it might be a very symbiotic relationship. Please don't just put all the responsibility on yourself. Please think about this, okay?
See this site, it explains it all
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/jealousy...
Jealousy is a curse, whether you're the one who is jealous or the one who someone else is jealous of. It's a mean, horrible emotion. A lot plays into it. The important thing is once you're aware, as you are now, you can control it.
I don't think that jealousy is hereditary, I think it's just human nature. I don't know where it comes from exactly, maybe the fact that man will always and forever want what we can't have, and most of the time when we get jealous, it's over something that we can't have.
i don't think all kind of 'jealousy' are equally bad. i think jealousy is only bad when it's about not wanting to see other people being happy.

there are some kinds of jealousy that are just human. if i stay up all night studying for a test and don't get a very good grade while a guy who only studies for one hour gets a perfect score, i'm definitely going to be jealous.

it is natural for you to be unhappy when you see your boyfriend looking at other pretty girls. most women are like that. personally, i get kind of upset when i see the girls i like showing interest in other guys. but really, it's only certain kinds of guys. the guys who i feel have something that i don't. usually the cuter guys.
Jealousy stems from your own insecurities. A secure and self-confident person wouldn't get jealous. I know this from experience. I used to be really jealous if my husband was paying attention to and (I thought) treating other women better than he treated me. Now, it doesn't bother me. If he wanted to be with someone else, he would be. He chose to marry me, just as I chose to marry him, and for the most part we are a pretty happy couple. Besides, being jealous all the time was really tiring me out, it takes so much energy. I guess, in answer to your question, if you are raised to be a strong, confident person with a lot of positive reinforcement from your parents, you wouldn't be a jealous person.
dont be jealous
love urself and thin kthe otha person is just jelus of u
like personally i think im the best person in the w orld
think like me!
wow, you know this is a rather interestng phenomenon within society. I'm actually not a jealous person, although I know plenty of people who do get jealous, but I have no reason as to why the would be jealous of me. But to answer your question, yes I venture to purport that jealousy is based upon your insecurites, and perhaps how you were raised, but i'm more inclined to believe that it's more of a self-esteem issue going on. For instance, my mother, now technically speaking, she gets jealous sometimes of me about things. Let me give you an example here: when we go out sometimes, I'm just naturally a person who likes to dress up, not trying to out do you or anything just my WAY, and sometimes I'll dress "down" ( I hate that term) or VERY casual; now she'll get upset if I don't change because she feels as if SOMEHOW I'm making HER feel a certain way, like she's not good enough, but in esscence the clothes you wear have nothing to do with how YOU feel about yourself, it's just another way of expressing yourself, so to speak, I feel comfotrable any way I dress and thats how it should be, it all boils down to self-confidnece or trust within yourself. Heredity I don't think plays a part, however, I do think societal factors are pivotal in how you perceive yourself, counterbalance comes form the home though, so if you have a family that values nothing but hedonisitc pleasures well, I'm sure jealousy is a BIG factor amongst A LOT of things, NOT just clothing, but like I said it just boils down to how YOU feel about YOURSELF.
I have mostly been jealous in relationships until I met my present husband, he is just the man I needed. He makes me feel loved and appreciated and I totally trust him (as much as u can trust a man LOL).
It's strange to look back and see how jealousies differed in different relationships. But when I look back, those times I was jealous maybe it was just my gut feeling telling me something was wrong. I don't think its hereditary either. It may be insecurities but I'm finally glad I don't have those chains anymore, by the way I;m in my 50s now, life is too short to be jealous. We are all beautiful in our own way.
Take care and good luck.
Also I think jealousy must have a biological component because even animals get jealous of each other when one gets more attention.
Jealousy is based in fear. Fear of losing someone, fear of not being good enough, fear of being abandoned or rejected. The way to end jealousy is to change the belief that you need that person to be happy. Once you learn 1) to be happy with yourself'
2) to be as happy alone as with someone, and 3) to trust, the jealousy will disappear on its own. These are not easy things to learn, but it's worth trying and getting better.

Jealousy isn't hereditary, but we can learn the fear of being left alone or unloved, from seeing our parents believe that way, or from being abandoned or rejected from someone we have loved.
jealously is an extension of insecurity. Its natural and happens to everyone. it kinda has to do with how you are raise. emotionally dependent people are more likely to be jealous
Wow, I can really relate to your blog! I was even getting that feeling in the pit of my stomach just reading it. I know that my jealousy has caused me alot of bitterness and even fights with my BF. I do agree with you that it is natural to find other people attractive when in a relatinship, but I do believe that people should try to keep those feelings to themselves. I don't think it's right when BFs or GFs say that someone is hot, even if they think it.

I think that it is great that you talk about it openly with your BF. I have sort of showed my jealousy, but never outright talked about some things that bothered me. I think talking about it is a good step. It gets it off your chest. It's also great and therapeutic to write about the topic.

For me, I think my jealousy stems from some insecurities. Maybe if I had more confidence and love for mysefl, I wouldn't be as jealous. I guess it depends on our temperments as well. Some people are more easy going about certain things than others. I am not. I tend to get angry, upset, emotional, etc. It's hard for me to let some things that my BF does go.

I also think that it's natural for many (if not all) couples to feel jealousy at times. We don't like the idea that there is someone out there that could possible snatch our mate. Or, that there is someone out there that our mate thinks about. It's just human nature to compete with love as well. Do you think that your BF even gets jealous at some things that you do? Or if guys talk to or approach you? Even if he doesn't show it (a lot of guys have a hard time showing emotion) I am sure he feels the same thing at times.
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival.Some even mislabel it as being protective of something or someone, when the fact is, it's really simply possessive jealousy itself; and many feel they don't possess effective strategies for coping with this form of jealousy. It is not hereditary, The most important thing to do about any feelings of jealousy is to first admit them, and then attempt to overcome them.

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