Cant relax???

My girlfriend is a molecular biology/bio chem. duel major at a big college. Needless to say, she is always busy. Her problem is she never truly relaxes. Even when she thinks she is relaxing she doesn’t let her mind rest. She is the type of person that always thinks in advance and never lets her self have a break. This along with her being narcoleptic which doesn’t allow her brain to rest as much at night either has me worried. I think she will burn out, and it is starting to show. What should I tell her? Is their anything I can do to help her?

People who CAN'T relax, don't really want to relax. And there really is nothing you can do. In fact, the more you tell her to relax, or discuss it with her, she will become irritated and your relationship will suffer. She is in a 'busy' phase of her life, and it requires her to be at her best all the time. This phase will pass...and she will come down somewhat.

The reality is that women's brains are generally always on the go. Mostly, it is with a scattered thought process. Your girlfriend seems to have tapped into her ability and is using all the facets of her brain...not a bad thing. What may be terribly tiring and taxing for you might just be the optimal workload for her.

My strongest suggestion is for you to be supportive and not try to counsel or caution her.
Is she on meds for narcolepsy? She should be. That woyld be the start of her relaxing.
This is when you just tell her to leave her books and her mind at home, and that the two of you are going out. Make her promise that for one night, her school is going to stay at home. Take her to a nice dinner, or her favorite thing (if it's ice skating, or a movie, walk on the beach). This also depends on how romantic you are too. Keep the conversation busy too, if you get quiet, she's liable to think about school. OR when she comes home on a friday night, have a nice hot bath ready for her with flowers and candles so she can just get in and relax. When she's out, give her a massage. See, this would never work for me because it's too romantic for me, but if your girlfriend likes this kind of thing, she'll LOVE it!
Your campus must have a student counseling office where a mental health therapist might do a lot of good for your girlfriend.
Afraid I can't offer much on the narcolespy issue. That would definitely be something a doctor would have to help treat.

I agree with hokiebirdVA.... You aren't going to be able to tell her anything that will stick. But you can offer her a distraction that could lead her to relaxation.

You are also going to have to accept that you have limitations on just how much you can influence her in the choices she makes.

Good luck.
You could both use the candlegazing technique at on page 2, or either of the others, but candlegazing is easier to learn. Read the whole page. Tai Chi & yoga could be good for her as well. Information on narcolepsy may be found at

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