To argue or not to argue?

I hate to argue and my girlfriend loves to. I don't mind being wrong but if I'm made to argue I get kind of John Malkovich(psychologically vicious with words) and it ends badly. I don't really see this aspect of me changing. Any ideas on how we could reach a happy medium.

Study up on logical fallacies, this should make arguing much more interesting when you can point out fallacious statements. It's a good thing to know, anyway.

Check it out.
If she likes to argue, you should find a new girlfriend more like yourself. Someone to just discuss differences without arguing. There will be no happy medium with her. That is just part of her personality. Move on. Life is too short for chaos and fighting.
dont argue back, simple!
I always try to head off the argument as soon as I see it coming. Through it a curve-ball... for example portray yourself in the argument losing dreadfully and dying cause of it. "Oh no, not the big one... honey, I can't lose this argument. It will killlllllllllll . . . . meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
If someone loves to argue I would get away from them. Look for a girlfriend of love that cares about you too, not just themselves. Believing only they are right or need a fight.
To get her out of it you would probably need her willing to change and stay changed, then find another presser release for her. Maybe she could take up boxing, just not you. :)
It is not good, in general, to argue all the time. However, some women enjoy being argumentive.and they especially enjoy the making up that usually follows it.
I would suggest you sacrifice your pride and .drumroll please.let her win! Just let the girl win...
perhaps your reward will be in the affection that follows!
agree to differ quickly so that there is more time to make love
i dont underatand why people think they have to argue,everyonr has a right to their own oppinion,there is no right and wrong answers,if you dont like arguing,but she does,then just walk away,let her argue with herself,she will get bored of it eventually..
good luck. you can come to a sort of agreement. My finance and I same way. He prefers not to talk or fight about it, I prefer to hash it out, even if he called me a name or something when we are disagreeing it would be better. the reason why because then I would feel like he is trying to help solve our problem. finally after 6 1/2 years, he now tries to a least sit and talk out the problem (this is his giving) and I try not to hound the situation to death. and try to be happy with him a least talking about.
Why does your girlfriend like to argue? If she does this for entertainment, she has to understand that the Malkovich in you is going to hurt her every time. Also, is this debating, or full-blown arguing? The second option should make you think about whether this girl has serious psychological problems. If it is debating, then tell her to warn you when you get harsh, so you can discuss other topics.
You can`t. She`s better at it than you, and she`s backing you into a corner, so you become vicious.

Tell her to cut it out or you`re gone.
There are so many men answering this one! (OK - when I started to answer there were mainly men!)
My husband & I have been together 30 years - he is generally quiet, agreeable, the most likeable bloke on this earth - I, on the other hand, am a right cow.
I would love to get an argument from him sometimes - because it would show me he isn't really as perfect as everyone thinks he is! It would also make ME feel better that we let off steam together.
However, he has lost his temper and shouted (surprisingly not at me!) only 3 times since we have been together - and by god don't people jump when he does!
So - maybe it's good he doesn't argue with me and saves it for when it is REALLY needed!
He manages to get out of it with a scowl & saying "there - I'm looking pi55ed off - does that count"!
Ahh, I feel your pain.
My husband loves to fight, he is constantly picking fights with me even if they done in"fun".
I tell him straight out that I don't like to fight with him, in fact, I tell him that I hate fighting with him. He usually lays off for a while.
Sometimes he comes home from work just looking for a fight and he does his best to pick one! I just look at him blankly and wait for him to stop and then ask if he feels better.
He usually stops and goes away. Later he tells me how much it pisses him off when I won't join in the fight, and again I remind him how much I hate to fight.
I figure that eventually he'll get the picture.
If you're looking for a "common ground", you'll need to be persistent

(ANS) I have a couple of points to make about arguments,

No.1 Some people make a kind of sport in deliberately upsetting, winding up or being so provocative as to get an argument. These people like to see what it takes for the other person to get angry.

No.2 The people who like to provoke arguments as a sport often do so as a way of getting their own anger out. Rather than deal with their own anger cleanly they project their anger onto other people.

No.3 Within relationships, anger is often a way to gain intimacy. Have you noticed that anger or arguments often end in bed & sex?

No.4 Anger or arguments can be about how holds the real power and control within the relationship. Often anger is more socially acceptable for men but woman can & do get equally angry.

**Anger can be both creative and constructive (in its most positive aspects) but anger can be extremely wounding, and very damaging. It entirely depends upon what motivates these feelings.

I hate arguing too, fortunately so does my husband. If one of us is in a snippy mood we ignore/avoid the other until they are rational and then we talk about it. It seem to work, we have been together thirteen years and married eleven.
The answer you want has to do with 'what you argue about' and 'how it gets argued.'

There is a degree of healthiness in arguments, but, if she is 'setting you up' for this, and if she winds you up - if she is out to do anything but simply enjoying it whilst creating a bond between you both, then Why is she doing it? What is her payoff?

If you are not gaining anything from it, then that's not healthy - for either of you.


The answers post by the user, for information only, does not guarantee the right.

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